Adolescence lasts into your 30s – so how should parents treat their adult children?

Parenting doesn't stop when your child turns 18; it simply changes shape. As the brain's adolescent phase extends until the age of 32, parents must navigate a new terrain - one that requires patience, empathy and self-awareness.

The traditional assumption is that maturation ends at 18 or 25, but this is no longer accurate. Today, many young adults remain in their family homes, often due to economic and social factors. This can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment among parents, who may feel like they're losing control over their child's life.

Research suggests that excessive parental involvement can hinder a young adult's development. "Helicopter parenting" - the tendency to constantly intervene and rescue one's child - can disrupt mental health, self-confidence and identity formation. Instead, parents should focus on setting clear boundaries, having open and honest conversations, and giving their children space to navigate their own lives.

It's not about whether your 28-year-old lives at home; it's about the relationship evolving to match their developmental stage. Parents must learn to let go of control without becoming dependent, finding a delicate balance between being available and respecting their child's autonomy.

Unprocessed trauma from one generation can be passed down through the family, causing estrangement between generations. Parents who recognize and process their own trauma can help heal this pain, leading to stronger emotional security and resilience within the family system.

When worldviews diverge - politics, religion, lifestyle choices - parents must exercise humility. Love does not mean agreement; it means allowing differences. The moment you try to win an argument, you risk damaging the relationship. Curiosity is the antidote; ask rather than tell, and remember that every generation reacts against the one before it.

Ultimately, your influence endures, but not in your opinions. It lives in how you embody love, respect, integrity and kindness. You helped write the relational map that lives inside your children - trust that and trust them.

so i was thinking, parenting is like a journey that never really ends, right? it's like our brains are still growing until we're 32! that means parents have to be patient and understanding when their kids are still figuring stuff out. like, even if they're not living at home anymore, they're still dealing with their own stuff.

i think it's crazy how some parents can get all frustrated and resentful because their kids aren't following the rules or doing what they want them to do... like, newsflash: your kid is an adult now! you gotta give 'em space to make their own mistakes and learn from them.

and oh yeah, parents need to be careful not to smother their kids with too much love and attention... that's just gonna hold 'em back. it's all about finding that balance between being there for your kid and respecting their independence.

The whole parenting thing is just like a democratic debate ... everyone's got an opinion, but what really matters is finding common ground. I mean, we used to think 18 was the magic age, but now it's more like 32 or something. It's all about adapting, you know? Can't have parents being too controlling and then feeling resentful when their kid doesn't need them as much. That's just like gerrymandering ... they're just trying to hold onto power instead of giving space.

And don't even get me started on trauma ... it's like, we can't keep passing down emotional baggage from one generation to the next. We gotta work through that stuff ourselves and be more empathetic towards each other. It's all about finding that sweet spot between being involved and letting go, kinda like the perfect filibuster .

The key is love, respect, and integrity ... not always agreeing on everything. I mean, my grandma used to say, "Love wins," but sometimes it's just about listening and understanding each other's perspectives. It's like when you're trying to reach a bipartisan deal ... compromise is the name of the game!

omg you guys i was reading this article about parenting and it made me think about my own life lol like I know people say 18 is when you're a adult but let's be real we all still need help sometimes, right? so yeah parental involvement changes as your child grows up and gets older, like research says the brain is still developing until you're like 32 or something! that's wild and honestly i think it's kinda cool when parents can adapt to their child's needs instead of just trying to control everything. it's all about finding that balance between being there for them and giving them space, you know?

I mean, can you believe we're still figuring this out? Like, my parents were raised with a completely different set of expectations when it came to their kids becoming independent. Now it's all about setting boundaries, being available, but also giving space... it's like a total 180 from what I grew up with. And you know what the craziest thing is? It's not even about whether your kid is still living at home or not, it's about how to navigate this whole 'young adult' phase and let them figure some stuff out on their own. I've seen friends whose parents were super involved in their lives but now they're struggling because their kids are all grown up and moving out... it's like, what did they do wrong?!

I mean, come on... 32?! That's like, when did we become experts at parenting? My kid turned 18 and suddenly became an adult? Please. I thought it was all about finding your way in the world by age 25. But nope, now we gotta adjust to a whole new ball game where our little ones are still figuring stuff out... like, how to cook ramen noodles on their own

And you know what's crazy? All these parents acting like they're losing control because their kids aren't moving back in yet? Like, hello, that's just a normal part of life now. Kids grow up and move out; it's not the end of the world! It's about finding that balance between giving them space to breathe and being there for 'em when they need you.

I think what really resonates with me is this whole "unprocessed trauma" thing. Like, I've got family drama galore... but at least we can talk about it now. Maybe that's the key? Being open and honest instead of holding onto all those secrets and resentments? That'd be a game-changer for some people, you know?

I gotta disagree with all this "new parenting" business . If my 30-year-old kid is still living at home, it's not about me losing control or needing to "let go". I'm just trying to keep my roof from being foreclosed on and my family fed . And yeah, maybe I'll overstep a little (a lot) - that's what adult kids are for, right? To fix their own stuff without mom and dad breathing down their necks .

man I feel like my parents are still getting used to me being independent lol... i mean idk about 18 being the end of parenting but it makes sense that our brains take longer to mature... i think its cool that research is showing us how much more we need to let go and give space to our kids... i've seen so many helo parents who are just stuck on rescuing their kids from every situation... newsflash : you can't fix everything!

I'm so over this whole 'parenting stops at 18' mentality! My 27-yr-old still lives with me & we're actually killing it in our open convo sessions about boundaries & space . It's all about evolving the parent-child dynamic, you know? We need to recognize that trauma can be passed down through fam lines & take steps to heal . And honestly, love isn't about winning arguments or being right, it's about showing up with empathy & understanding .