Dear Abby: Drunk daughter-in-law makes a scene at birthday party

When family drama boils over at a birthday celebration, it can be downright toxic. In Texas, a wife, Lindy, was left reeling after her son's 50th birthday party took a disastrous turn when she, already well-into her drinking, went on a tirade about the "stupid daughter" who didn't attend.

A bitter divide has existed between Lindy and this estranged child since the former spouse of her son moved on to form new relationships. The tension is palpable for several reasons. Firstly, Adam's ex-wife had given birth to just one child before leaving him for Lindy, and her daughter was subsequently adopted by Adam when he married Lindy.

Given that Lindy has a history of substance abuse and can get out of control, the scene at the birthday party could have been anticipated, especially considering the presence of several close friends. However, Texas's writer chose to keep quiet in order to avoid spoiling the celebration for her son and his companions.

Dear Abby advises restraint, urging Holding her tongue to maintain harmony with Adam and his father about this incident. She doesn't delve into whether or not Adam still maintains ties with his ex-wife or daughter but cautions that keeping mum is wise right now.

In another scenario, a close friend at work in Ohio struggles with the issue of promotion. Despite having achieved significant professional milestones over six years, her colleague has not been elevated as frequently. The problem lies in her different perspective on work-life balance and dressing according to outdated norms, often venturing out of her office to run errands while taking personal calls.

Faithful Friend from Ohio wonders how much of this she should share with her friend at work. She fears that focusing solely on maintaining their friendship may cause resentment if the colleague is promoted ahead without having an opportunity to grow further within the company. In this instance, Dear Abby advises Faithful Friend to have a candid conversation about her concerns and then encourage her friend to discuss it privately with her supervisor.

When should you speak up in these situations? Not always immediately, but sharing your thoughts honestly can be beneficial when coupled with empathy and tact.

Ugh, family drama is the WORST ! I mean, who needs that kind of stress at a birthday party?! Lindy's tirade was totally unacceptable, and her son Adam should've just spoken up instead of letting his mom go off on his daughter like that #ToxicFamilyDrama. And can we talk about how awkward it is when someone's estranged child shows up to the party? It's like a ticking time bomb waiting to happen! I would've told Lindy to keep her mouth shut and focus on enjoying the celebration with Adam and his friends instead of making it all about her own drama #FamilyGoals.

Ugh, family drama is the WORST . I feel so bad for Lindy, she's already dealing with substance abuse issues, and then to have a public meltdown like that? It's like, hello, birthday party, not a therapy session .

And can we talk about how messed up the situation is between Adam and his ex-wife? Adopting their daughter and now Lindy trying to cut ties with her? So much drama, and it's only because Lindy has a drinking problem... like, what's next?

But you know what really gets me? The fact that Adam just kinda ignored the whole thing and moved on. I get not wanting to ruin his birthday party vibes, but come on, it was still a pretty big deal .

And then there's this other situation with Faithful Friend in Ohio... girl, I feel you. It's hard enough navigating workplace drama without having to worry about being left behind or feeling resentful . But maybe this is the push she needs to have that talk with her supervisor and advocate for herself ?

Ugh, birthday parties can be so stressful already! I mean, what's the deal with family drama at celebrations? Like, shouldn't we all just vibe together for a few hours and have some fun? Instead, it's like, someone's gonna bring up an old beef or two (or in this case, three). I feel bad for Lindy tho, she sounds like she was already on edge what with the drinking and all. And poor Adam's daughter - being adopted can be tough enough without that kind of drama at a birthday party... anyway, I think it's good that Dear Abby is advocating for restraint right now. But I do agree that if you're feeling strongly about something (like work-life balance or promotion), it's better to have an open and honest chat with the person involved - just make sure to do it in a way that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings, you know?

omg, this family drama is wild i mean, i get that lindy's a mom who's already struggled with substance abuse, so it's probs not the best idea to be yelling at her own daughter in front of friends but on the other hand, adam's ex-wife did kinda abandon their kid and now she's all bitter about it? like, isn't that some major drama right there?! anyway, i think dear abby is right tho, sometimes just keeping mum can be super important for maintaining harmony in a household. especially when you're dealing with sensitive stuff like this

I think the advice from Dear Abby is way too chill . I mean, if someone's being totally unfair or unprofessional, it's okay to speak up and maybe even call 'em out a bit. It's not about stirring drama, but about being honest and advocating for yourself. In the first scenario with Lindy and her son, she was clearly in no state of mind to be having that conversation, so yeah, someone should've intervened earlier... or at least given her some space until she cooled off . And as for Faithful Friend in Ohio, I think it's a total bummer that her colleague is getting ahead just because they're "professional" and don't know how to balance work and personal life. Can't we promote people who are actually happy and fulfilled with their jobs, not just the ones who are more willing to wear fancy clothes and stay in the office?

You know what's toxic too? The unequal pay gap in the US . I mean, think about it, just like Lindy had a meltdown at her son's birthday party, women are still having a major meltdown over their lack of financial freedom. It's like, can't we all just get along and make some real changes around here?

And let's not forget about the work-life balance thing in Ohio. I'm all for Faithful Friend wanting to have an open conversation with her colleague, but what about when it comes to speaking up on systemic issues like pay inequality? Shouldn't we be having those conversations too? It's time to shift the narrative from individual struggles to collective action .

And can we talk about Dear Abby's advice for a sec? I'm all for tact and empathy, but isn't it time we start tackling the root causes of these issues rather than just offering Band-Aid solutions?

idk why ppl gotta make drama outta birthday parties its not like theyre tryna stir up nothin just havin a good time think both sides r actin out & it might b better 4 them 2 chill & talk things thru rite?

Wow ! Family drama is so super stressful & messy! Interesting how Lindy's history of substance abuse played a role in the whole situation... like, it's no excuse for being outta control at her son's birthday party . And yeah, sometimes keeping mum can be wise, but also, you gotta have tough conversations too !

The Calm Analyst here... So I've been thinking about this family drama thingy and how it can get pretty messy. Like Lindy's son's birthday party - the ex-wife not showing up is a big deal, especially considering she's Adam's biological daughter. It's not just about Lindy being drunk and having a tantrum, but also about the complex history between her, Adam, and his dad.

The thing is, sometimes you need to have those tough conversations or share your concerns with someone, but it's all about timing and approach. Like Faithful Friend in Ohio - she wants to support her friend but doesn't want to lose their friendship over a promotion issue. And then there are situations where keeping mum might be the best option.

Ultimately, it's not always easy to know when to speak up or keep quiet, but it's all about being honest while still being empathetic and tactful. You gotta weigh your words carefully...

idk what's more toxic - the family drama or the fact that they're all so invested in keeping it a secret i mean, if someone's being a terrible mom or colleague, isn't it better to address it than just ignore it?

i think it's great that Dear Abby is advising them to have "candid conversations" but what about when you don't know the other person well enough? shouldn't we be trying to understand each other's perspectives before jumping in with our opinions?

This all feels super staged ... like they're trying to distract us from something else going on. I mean, Lindy's daughter just happens to not attend the party, and Lindy freaks out because of it? It seems kinda convenient that everyone in attendance is too scared to speak up. And what's with Texas writer just choosing to stay silent about the whole thing?

And don't even get me started on Faithful Friend from Ohio ... her colleague seems pretty self-absorbed, but does she really need to vent about it to work? Maybe there's more to this story than we're being told. It's like they want us to believe everything is fine and dandy when really something fishy is going on.