'I knew I was starting to have a seizure': women describe lasting effects of being 'choked' during sex

For young women, "choking" during sex can be a harrowing experience that leaves lasting scars. While some might view it as a consensual act, the reality is often far more sinister.

For Sophie, 21, it was her first and only time being strangled by a partner, leaving her to endure a seizure and weeks of dizziness, fatigue, and memory issues. "I blacked out, my legs were kicking, I broke a glass," she recalls. Despite the encounter being consensual on paper, Sophie's mind struggled to grasp what had happened, and it took time for her to come to terms with the trauma.

Carrie, 28, from the US, experienced a similar ordeal at the hands of an older partner who used his power and control to strangle her. "He would be very violent with me... I felt like I was fighting to keep my eyes open," she says, describing how she felt disoriented and off-balance for days after each encounter.

These women's stories are not isolated incidents. A groundbreaking study found that over half of people under the age of 35 have experienced choking during sex, with teenagers as young as 16 confessing to having seen it in pornography or on social media. The study also revealed that despite its dangers – including brain injury and death – many still believed it could be done safely.

The proliferation of violent pornography among young women has warped their perception of intimacy, leading them to downplay the severity of the situation. "I can only imagine the anxiety I'd have in the future if I had girls," Sophie says, expressing her fears for the safety of her potential loved ones.

Other women shared similar experiences, with some describing repeated incidents during long-term relationships. Laura, 32, who has suffered memory issues and fatigue as a result of choking, describes how she didn't realize the full extent of her injuries until later. "I was like, 'If only I had known this sooner, maybe I would have left sooner,'" she says.

Laura's story highlights the importance of seeking medical attention after such an experience. She attributes her ongoing problems to not having been diagnosed earlier, saying, "I get a lot of headaches... weakness, tinnitus, light headedness... all sorts of things like that."

While some men also experience pressure to engage in choking as part of their sex lives, research shows it is most commonly perpetrated by men. However, the women who spoke out stress that the motivation behind these acts is often about power and control – with perpetrators seeking sexual gratification from frightening or hurting their partners.

The tide is slowly turning against violent pornography, with a ban on such content set to be implemented in the UK soon. As technology platforms are forced to take responsibility for regulating the spread of such material, it's essential that we continue to shed light on this insidious issue and work towards creating a safer, more consensual sex culture.

For those who have experienced choking, there is hope. By speaking out and seeking support, they can begin to rebuild their lives and rediscover the joy of healthy intimacy. As Sophie says, her current partner's approach has been "refreshing" – focusing on mutual care and respect rather than coercion or control.

I'm so concerned about this . These stories are literally heartbreaking. Choking during sex can have severe physical and emotional consequences, and it's not okay that some people still think it's safe or consensual. The fact that half of young women under 35 have experienced choking is a major red flag. We need to take responsibility for the content we consume online, especially when it comes to violent pornography . It's time to move away from this toxic norm and promote healthy intimacy instead . Let's get more open conversations going about consent, power dynamics, and the importance of seeking help after experiencing trauma .

I'm appalled by the prevalence of choking during sex, especially among young women . The notion that some people view it as a consensual act is alarming, given the severe physical and emotional trauma it can cause. It's disheartening to hear about Sophie's seizure and Carrie's feelings of disorientation after being strangled by their partners.

The fact that over half of people under 35 have experienced choking during sex is staggering . The study highlights a disturbing trend where violent pornography has warped young women's perception of intimacy, leading them to downplay the severity of the situation. This kind of normalization can have long-term consequences for these individuals and their relationships.

It's crucial that we create a cultural shift towards prioritizing mutual care and respect in intimate relationships . The implementation of a ban on violent pornography in the UK is a step in the right direction, but we must continue to raise awareness about this insidious issue and support those who have been affected by it.

If you or someone you know has experienced choking during sex, please seek help and support . There are resources available to provide assistance and guidance. Let's work together to create a safer and more consensual sex culture .

oh my god y'all i am just soooo frustrated right now about this choking during sex thing it's like we're living in a world where people think they can just strangle each other for fun and it's still okay newsflash its NOT OKAY

and don't even get me started on the fact that these women are still having to deal with trauma and anxiety and fatigue and memory issues because of some dude who thought he was being " kinky" like what even is that i know some people might say it's consensual but trust me it's not okay when it hurts

and can we talk about how this is just perpetuating a culture of violence and misogyny where men are still thinking they can control their partners' bodies and lives it's like we're still living in the dark ages or something

but hey i do love that there's a ban on violent pornography coming soon to the UK maybe that'll help change things for the better but we need to keep talking about this and making sure everyone knows that choking during sex is never okay

its so wild that ppl think choking is safe lol like what even is that its not something u can just 'tough out' or ignore ur body is tryna tell u somethin & if u dont listen, bad things can happen i feel bad for all these women who have gone thru this trauma & cant even imagine how scary it must be to feel like ur being suffocated in a situation thats supposed 2 b intimate we need 2 talk more about consent & respect in sex ed & make sure ppl r educated on the risks of choking & other forms of non-consensual sex

I'm still thinking about how we talk about sex and consent online . I mean, it's crazy to think that some young women are still seeing choking as something normal or consensual just because they've seen it in vids or social media . It's like, nope, that's not okay . And the fact that these incidents can lead to brain injuries and death is just wild .

But you know what's even crazier? The way some people still think they can "do it safely" . Like, what does that even mean? . There's no safe way to choke someone, especially if you're not doing it with mutual consent and respect .

And I'm so glad the UK is banning violent pornography . That's a huge step forward in creating a safer online space for everyone . But we need to keep pushing for more . We need to have these conversations about sex and consent, especially when it comes to women and vulnerable groups .

It's also so important that people like Sophie and Laura are speaking out about their experiences . It takes a lot of courage to share your story, but it can help others feel less alone and more empowered to take control of their own bodies . So let's keep listening and supporting each other .

I'm so sorry to hear that there are young women out there who have had to go through such a traumatic experience, even if it was consensual on paper. It's like, we get what you're saying, but the reality is just so scary and overwhelming. Choking can be a real sign of bigger issues with power dynamics and control in relationships.

I mean, I know some people might say that choking is just a normal part of exploration or intimacy, but trust me, it's not okay to make your partner feel like they're in danger or can't breathe. That's when you start to see the real damage being done.

We need to do better as a society to support these women and help them heal from their trauma. It's not just about seeking medical attention, but also about having a safe space to talk about what happened without judgment. We need more resources and support for survivors, like hotlines and online communities where they can connect with others who have gone through similar experiences.

Let's shine a light on this issue and make sure that we're creating a culture of consent and respect, rather than one that perpetuates harm and control.

omg this is so sad i cant even imagine what these girls went thru!! choke holds are never ok period they shouldnt have to feel anxious about having sex bc their partner has the upper hand like that we need to make sure everyone knows consent is key not some twisted game of power & control the fact that there are so many young women seeing this kinda thing online or in vids is just gross we need to do better as a society to educate ppl about healthy sex practices & support each other when we see signs of abuse

I'm still trying to process how something that's supposed to be intimate and loving can turn into a nightmare for some people . It makes me wonder if we've lost sight of what true connection means. For these women, it wasn't just about the physical act but about feeling controlled and disrespected. It's like they're saying, 'I thought we were in this together, not against each other' . We need to have a conversation about consent and boundaries, and make sure everyone is on the same page before things get out of hand .

This whole thing is so messed up... I mean, choking during sex? That's not just non-consensual, it's actively violent. And yet, there are these statistics that say like half of people under 35 have experienced it? That's insane! What's even crazier is that some of them think they can do it safely? Like, no, you cannot strangle someone during sex and expect it to be okay.

And the fact that some of these women are still having long-term relationships with people who do this stuff... I don't even know how to process that. It's like they're in denial or something. And the women who spoke out were all like "oh, I didn't realize the extent of my injuries until later"... that's not your problem, that's their problem.

We need to take down violent pornography for real this time. Like, a ban on it in the UK is one thing, but we need to make sure tech platforms are doing more than just regulating it. We need them to be actively working to remove it altogether.

And can we talk about how some of these women were still downplaying the severity of it all? Like, "I was like, 'If only I had known this sooner...'". No, you didn't know because you were too scared or too caught up in the moment. That's not a healthy way to think about intimacy.

But hey, at least there's hope for these women who are speaking out and seeking support. And maybe, just maybe, we can create a safer, more consensual sex culture where people actually care about each other's well-being.

Choking in sex is super messed up . I'm so glad these women are speaking out about their experiences, it's not just about the physical harm but also the mental trauma that comes with it. We need to be more careful when we're talking about what happens between people in bed and make sure we're not normalizing violence . The fact that half of young people have experienced choking is crazy and it's no wonder they're still downplaying its severity - I mean, who wants to believe that their partner is capable of harming them?

I agree that choking during sex can be a super serious issue, especially for young women, but it makes me uneasy when we talk about the prevalence of it in porn and social media without acknowledging the power dynamics at play . It's not just about being "in the moment" or "consenting to it", there's a real risk of physical harm and emotional trauma that can have lasting effects . I also think it's interesting how some women downplay the severity of choking because they've seen it in porn or social media, like Sophie . We need to be having these conversations with our kids about consent and healthy intimacy, and making sure they know that this kind of behavior is never okay .

I mean, seriously guys! Choking during sex is not some kind of 'game' or power play... it's literally a recipe for disaster! These women's stories are heartbreaking and I'm so sorry they had to go through that trauma. The fact that over half of people under 35 have experienced it is just staggering . And don't even get me started on the violent pornography thing... how can we let this kind of content spread like wildfire online? It's warped our perception of intimacy and makes us think it's okay to hurt each other .

I love that the UK is taking steps to ban this crap and hold tech platforms accountable, but it's not just about policy changes... we need to have a bigger conversation about consent and respect in sex. We need to make sure our boys are taught that choking can be traumatic and never acceptable . And for those who've experienced it, I want you to know that there is hope . Reaching out for support and finding healthy, consensual partners can be life-changing .

I feel so much pain for these young women who had to go through such traumatic experiences... choking during sex is never okay, no matter what the situation is! It's like, we should be teaching our kids that consent is key, not some twisted game of power and control . And yeah, I totally get why they're worried about their future partners too... it's like, if you've been through something like that, how do you know it won't happen again? We need to be having these conversations and creating a culture where people feel comfortable talking about it without fear of judgment . And I love Sophie's point about finding someone who just cares about her as a person, not just for the sake of some twisted thrill ... that's what healthy intimacy is all about .

I mean think about it... choking is literally just a really messed up way to get off I'm not saying people who do it are bad or anything, but like, what's the point of strapping someone down and almost killing them just so you can have sex? And don't even get me started on how ridiculous it is that some people still think it's safe to do because they've seen it in vids or whatever Newsflash: just 'cause it looks pretty on screen doesn't mean it's a good idea IRL

I'm so tired of platforms like this one that don't do enough to stop the spread of problematic content . I mean, think about it - we're talking about a study that shows over half of people under 35 have experienced choking during sex and yet, here we are, glorifying it in our comments section . It's just so messed up. And don't even get me started on the lack of resources for women who've gone through this trauma . Can we please, for once, focus on supporting these survivors instead of making them feel like they're somehow to blame? We need better moderation and more transparency from platforms about how they're addressing these issues . This is a total mess and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take .