Is it okay if I don’t love my partner all the time?

Relationship Ambivalence: Why It's Not the End of the World

The notion that a relationship must be all sunshine and rainbows can be damaging. We're often led to believe that if our partner isn't perfect, then our relationship is doomed to fail. But what if we told you that mixed feelings towards your romantic partner are normal? Ambivalence - feeling both positively and negatively about someone - is incredibly common in relationships.

Leigh, a psychologist who recently navigated her own ambivalent relationship, says she was initially unsure if she truly loved her partner, Thomas. "I didn't know what I wanted," she admits. "It was like my feelings were all over the place." But as time went on, Leigh's feelings towards Thomas became more defined. She found herself drawn to him, but also frustrated with his avoidance.

Ambivalence isn't always easy to deal with. Research has shown that it can lead to lower well-being, relationship dissatisfaction, and even physical health problems like high blood pressure and coronary-artery calcification. However, it's not all doom and gloom. When we acknowledge our ambivalence towards someone, we're forced to confront the complexities of human relationships.

So, what does this mean for us? The good news is that working through ambivalence can be an opportunity for growth and improvement in our relationships. By recognizing our mixed feelings and actively addressing them, we can build stronger connections with others.

The key is to avoid blaming or excusing the other person's behavior. Instead of ruminating over past arguments, focus on the positive moments you've shared together. Remembering the good times can help you stay invested in your relationship and forgive more easily.

Ambivalence may not be ideal, but it's a natural part of human relationships. By accepting this reality, we can begin to build stronger, more resilient partnerships that are grounded in a deeper understanding of each other's complexities.

For Leigh and Thomas, the outcome was bittersweet. Their connection had grown despite the ambivalence, but ultimately, their relationship became too much for her to handle. As she moves forward from this experience, Leigh is left wondering: "Where do I rebuild from here?"

I mean, come on... ambivalence in relationships isn't the end of the world? Like, people are complex and flawed and stuff. It's normal to have mixed feelings about someone. What's wrong with not knowing what you want all the time? Sounds like a healthy dose of self-reflection to me. And btw, I don't buy into the whole "blame it on the other person" thing... that's just gonna lead to more drama and stress. Just own up to your feelings and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Easy peasy.

I just got back from the most amazing road trip with my friends last weekend We drove through these stunning mountains and stopped at every quirky little town we came across. It was so much fun! But you know what's even better than a good road trip? Trying out new foods while on the road I mean, have you ever had a slice of authentic pizza from that one place in Ohio? Game. Changer.

Anyway, back to relationships... I think it's great that we're finally talking about ambivalence as a normal part of human connections It's like, our feelings can be all over the place, and that's okay! We don't have to be all happy or sad all the time (although, let's be real, who doesn't love a good happy moment? ).

I feel like we're so conditioned to believe that relationships need to be perfect, but what if perfection is just an illusion? What if our imperfections and ambivalence are actually what make our connections more interesting and meaningful?

Oh, wait, I just realized I need to update my phone's GPS system...

I'm totally with this ! Ambivalence in a relationship can be super tough to deal with, but it's defo not the end of the world . In fact, research shows that ambivalence can lead to some major growth opportunities . Like, when you acknowledge your mixed feelings, you're more likely to work through the issues and come out stronger on the other side .

I mean, think about it - all relationships involve some level of conflict or frustration . The key is how you navigate those emotions and use them as a chance to learn and grow together . And let's be real, no one is perfect, right? Even the most seemingly perfect partners have their flaws .

Stats-wise, did you know that only about 20% of relationships end in divorce ? That means 80% of us are still out there navigating our way through the ups and downs . And honestly, it's often those messy, complicated moments that make for some of the most interesting (and rewarding) experiences .

Here's a fun fact: studies have shown that couples who can recognize and work through their ambivalence together tend to be more resilient in the long run . That's what I call growth!

Ugh I am literally so done with all these unrealistic expectations about relationships !! Like, just because you're with someone doesn't mean you're gonna be besties forever and it's all rainbows and sunshine. Newsflash: relationships are complicated and messy and sometimes your feelings will be ALL OVER THE PLACE . And honestly, how about we stop shaming people for feeling ambivalent instead of embracing it as a natural part of growing and learning together? It's okay to have mixed emotions and not know what you want all the time...it means you're human!

I totally get why people think relationships have gotta be perfect 10/10 all the time , but honestly it's so relatable when you feel like you're just stuck in a loop of both loving and hating your partner at the same time . I've been there myself and it can be super overwhelming, but I think it's actually kind of liberating to acknowledge those mixed feelings ? It's like, we don't have to force everything to be all sunshine and rainbows when in reality, life is messy and complicated . And yeah, it might not be easy to deal with, but I think that's where the growth happens, right? Like, if you can learn to navigate those complexities and come out stronger on the other side, then that's totally worth it !

i totally feel like relationships are supposed to be all rainbows and unicorns lol but honestly it's so refreshing to hear that ambivalence is normal we're not perfect and our partners shouldn't be either. it's okay to have mixed feelings, it just means you care enough to acknowledge the complexities of human emotions i think it's amazing how Leigh worked through her feelings with Thomas, even if their relationship didn't work out in the end. it's like, what did she learn from this experience? and omg that whole thing about high blood pressure and coronary-artery calcification is wild who knew being ambivalent could be bad for your health anyway, i think we should all try to focus on the good times in our relationships instead of dwelling on past arguments

I think it's super relatable that we don't always feel one way or the other about someone we care about. Like, have you ever been in a relationship where you're like "I love them so much!" and then suddenly you're like "Ugh, I'm so annoyed with them right now"? It's normal to go back and forth like that! And instead of getting stressed out about it, maybe we should try focusing on the good times? Like, remember when they did something sweet for you or made you laugh? Those moments can totally help shift our perspective. Plus, working through ambivalence can actually be a great opportunity to grow together and get more comfortable with each other's quirks. So yeah, it might not be easy, but I think it's worth trying to make the most of it!

I think its kinda weird how we're made to believe relationships gotta be all perfect and stuff . Like, what's the point of even having feelings if they're just gonna be all positive? Ambivalence is like, super relatable, you know? I've been in situations where I was literally torn between loving someone and hating them at the same time ... it wasn't pretty. But I guess its good that we can acknowledge our messy emotions and try to work through them. Its not always easy tho, but maybe thats what makes relationships so interesting ?

Ugh, relationships can be soooo draining ! But seriously, ambivalence in a relationship isn't the end of the world... it's actually kinda normal . We all have ups and downs with our partners at some point. It's how we deal with those mixed feelings that matters . Don't blame each other or get stuck on past arguments, just focus on the good times you've shared together . And honestly, if it becomes too much to handle, it might be time to reevaluate . But hey, who knows, maybe you'll come out stronger and wiser from it .

honestly, i think its all about finding that balance between love and frustration. like in that show the office, michael scott has this whole thing with darryl phyllies where he's always on his case but deep down they got a thing for each other. it shows how complicated it can be to navigate those feelings.

sometimes ambivalence is a sign that you need to step back and reevaluate what you want from your relationship. maybe its not the end of the world, like the article says, its just a chance to grow and learn more about yourself and your partner.

it also made me think of that movie where the guy has this super intense connection with the girl but they cant be together because of some external factor? it was so romantic but also kinda sad. i guess thats the tradeoff when you're dealing with ambivalence – sometimes its worth fighting for, sometimes its better to just let go.

anyway, i think its cool that leigh and thomas are moving forward from their experience. who knows what the future holds for them?

Ambivalent relationships are super relatable, right? I mean, who hasn't felt like they're torn between loving and hating their partner at the same time? It's actually kinda refreshing to acknowledge that it's normal to have mixed feelings. Like, it's okay to not feel 100% all the time. But what's interesting is how we deal with those feelings. Do we try to avoid them or face them head-on? I think the key is to focus on the positive moments and not get too caught up in dwelling on the negative ones. It's like, yeah, your partner can be annoying sometimes, but they're also super cute when they smile . Let's try to find that balance, you know?

I don't think it's that simple . Just 'cause someone's feelings are all over the place doesn't mean they're not perfect for each other. What if Leigh just needed to figure some stuff out on her own? Maybe Thomas wasn't the one who could "fix" her, and she was actually trying to grow as a person while still in the relationship . And what about the research saying ambivalence can lead to physical health problems? Isn't that kinda extreme? I mean, low blood pressure's not the end of the world . It just means you need to take care of yourself and find healthier ways to deal with your feelings.