Asking Eric: My wife was very keen on rural living — until we got here

A couple's rural dream turned nightmare. Eric and his wife, 44, had envisioned a peaceful life on their acreage six years ago. She was keen on the idea, promising to pitch in with household chores and maintenance tasks. But since their move, Eric has shouldered almost all the work, from outside labor to managing health concerns.

His frustration boiled over as he felt his wife spent more time gaming and watching videos than contributing to the household. When he tried to discuss this with her, she shut him down, opting for online escapism instead of physical activity or caring for their home. Eric's growing fatigue and concern about his health led him to wonder what had happened to his partner.

Dear Eric, it may not be possible to change your wife's behavior, but there is something unspoken between you both that needs addressing. Marriage counseling could provide a safe space for both partners to express their feelings and concerns without judgment. The key question might be: "Is this home still the right place for us?" It's essential to explore whether the lifestyle they chose together is working for both of them.

Meanwhile, another reader shared her difficult experience with a deceased relative who was more concerned with criticizing others than seeking help herself. Her friend's son, struggling with liver disease, has raised new questions about life's fairness. Grief often attaches itself to unrelated issues, making it essential to acknowledge and let go. Eric's friend might find solace by talking to her faith leader or exploring philosophical perspectives on mortality.

For those dealing with similar struggles, Eric Thomas invites readers to submit their questions, which he will address in future columns.

Eric's situation is like that of the movie "Marriage Story" – it's heartbreaking to see a relationship go downhill. His wife just seems so caught up in her own world, and it's not fair to Eric who's shouldering all the responsibilities . Maybe counseling could be a good starting point for them, but honestly, if she's not willing to put in any effort, that's a bigger issue than just changing habits.

As for the other reader, I can totally relate to feeling like life isn't fair when it comes to grief. It's like, you're trying to process one thing and then suddenly another problem pops up and makes everything feel even more overwhelming . I think her friend is right in saying they need to find ways to cope with their emotions – talking to someone or looking into spiritual perspectives can be really helpful.

It's also interesting that Eric invites readers to submit their questions, because let's face it, marriage is a mystery and sometimes you just need help figuring things out .

Eric's situation is a classic case of the 50/50 myth - everyone thinks they're getting equal effort at home, but often one partner ends up carrying the load . I think this highlights how societies are still working to achieve true equality and fairness in relationships, especially when it comes to household responsibilities.

We need to have an open conversation about what's considered "fair" work and who should be doing what. Is it okay that Eric is shouldering almost all the maintenance tasks? Shouldn't his wife be contributing more to their home life as well?

Maybe Eric needs to take a step back and think about what he wants from this marriage. Is it working for him, or is it just a convenience? We need to recognize that relationships are a two-way street and both partners have to be willing to compromise.

And what's up with the gaming aspect? Is she feeling suffocated by the responsibilities of rural life? Maybe Eric needs to find out what's driving her behavior instead of just criticizing her for not pulling her weight.

I feel so bad for Eric, his situation sounds like a total dream crash . I think what's really going on here is that they both got caught up in this fantasy of country living and suddenly reality hit hard . It's not fair to expect one person to take on all the work while the other just relaxes and escapes into their own world .

I wish Eric would talk to his wife about how he feels, but it sounds like she's really good at shutting him down . Maybe they need some outside help, like couples therapy or something, to figure out what's going on and if this is still the life for them .

It's also interesting that there are other people out there who have gone through similar struggles with loved ones who couldn't ask for help when they needed it . I think we need to talk about how we can be better supporters for each other in those tough times .

I mean, what's the deal with marriage nowadays? It sounds like Eric's wife is more concerned with her online life than actually living it with him. Like, can't we all just put our phones away for one second and be present with each other? But seriously, Eric needs to have a chat with his wife about what's going on. Maybe they both needed some space, but it doesn't seem like she's willing to meet him halfway. Marriage counseling sounds like a good idea, 'cause when life gets messy, you need someone to talk through the issues with, not just avoid them altogether.

I'm telling you, this is more than just a simple marriage drama... There's gotta be some hidden patterns at play here. I mean, who needs household chores and maintenance when you've got online escapism? It's like they're playing a game of cat and mouse, but Eric's the one getting burned. And what about that "safe space" for marriage counseling? Sounds like just another way to keep them in line... I'm not saying Eric's wife is being bad or anything, but it's all about perspective, right? Maybe she's just trying to cope with her own issues and Eric's the one who's too caught up in his own frustration. It's like a never-ending game of tug-of-war...

awww poor eric! i feel so bad for him, he's been shouldering all the work and it's taking a toll on his mental health my heart goes out to him... marriage counseling is a great idea maybe they can learn to communicate better & find that balance in life? i wish eric's wife could see how her online escapism is affecting him sending positive vibes for eric to get the help he needs

I feel so bad for Eric and his wife... like they had the whole country home thing all planned out but it seems like she's just not putting in the work. I mean, what's with gaming and videos all day? I get it, we need some me-time too, but household chores and maintenance are part of the deal when you're living off the grid, right? It's like they said, maybe marriage counseling could help them figure out what's going on and if this life is really for them . Eric needs to talk to someone about his feelings, it can't be easy carrying all that weight alone.

Eric's situation is super relatable, feels like his wife is ghosting him . Marriage counseling can't hurt, but it's also important for both parties to re-evaluate their expectations and responsibilities . Maybe Eric needs to have a heart-to-heart with his wife about what's not working and see if they can find a better balance together .

Eric's situation sounds like a real-life "married gamer" disaster . I mean, what happens when the hubby takes on all the household chores and his wife is too busy 'leveling up' her online gaming skills? It's not like he can just quit his day job to become a full-time gamer too (although, that does sound kinda appealing...). The thing is, Eric needs to have an honest conversation with his wife about how she's affecting their rural lifestyle and make sure they're both on the same page. Maybe it's time for a reality check and a look at what's really important – like maintaining a happy home life .

Omg I feel so bad for Eric his wife is literally living a separate life from him and it's affecting their relationship big time! I mean I love gaming and watching vids too but come on someone gotta pitch in around the house lol I'd say have an open & honest convo with her about how you're feeling and maybe get some couples therapy to work through this. Marriage counseling is a great idea, it might just save their relationship