Dear Abby: My sister, the favored child, believes the lie my father tells about me

A sister's complicated loyalty and a toxic ex-lover - two fraught family dynamics that require delicate handling. Estranged in Florida, she struggles to maintain her relationship with her sister while navigating the fallout of their abusive father.

Her father's cruel words about her sister still linger: "too dumb to be successful." Meanwhile, he mercilessly belittled and punished Estranged, yet largely spared her sister from similar treatment. Now, as an adult, Estranged has confronted her father about his behavior, only to have him turn on her, disowning her in a public announcement.

Despite this betrayal, Estranged's sister remains close with their father, who insists that she - not Estranged - cut him off. This loyalty is baffling to Estranged, given the stark contrast between their childhoods.

Abby advises Estranged to gather support from other family members who recall the dynamic between them and her father. However, if that's not possible, she must accept that discussing this sensitive topic may be off-limits. The best approach might be to steer clear of "Dear Old Dad" altogether, at least for now.

This cautionary tale highlights the perils of unresolved family dynamics and the importance of self-care. Estranged's situation serves as a poignant reminder: prioritize your own well-being and don't be afraid to set boundaries or distance yourself from toxic relationships.

In contrast, Hopeless Romantic in Texas is grappling with a similarly painful decision. After rekindling contact with her ex-partner, she finds herself torn between two options: ending the current relationship that's emotionally abusive and revisiting a love that may have been lost forever.

Abby advises Hopeless to prioritize her own healing, urging her to explore couples counseling alongside her partner. While this path is fraught with uncertainty, it could be an opportunity for growth - and closure.

The final letter from Nosy Friends highlights the importance of setting boundaries in social relationships. When confronted with invasive questions, Abby recommends responding with a simple "Why do you ask?" This deft maneuver can help redirect conversations without escalating tension.

As Dear Abby's letters demonstrate, family dynamics can be messy and confounding. Yet by prioritizing self-awareness, boundary-setting, and emotional intelligence, we may yet navigate these complex relationships with greater ease and peace of mind.

I'm tellin' ya, this "Dear Abby" thing is like a big ol' onion - you peel back the layers and there's some serious drama goin' on . I mean, Estranged's sister is still clingin' to their abusive dad? That's wild! And Hopeless Romantic's ex-partner is emotionally abusin' her all over again? No thanks!

It's like they're playin' some kinda twisted game of "which toxic relationship should I deal with next?" But you know what? They both need to take a step back and prioritize themselves. Self-care is key, folks! We can't keep pourin' our hearts out for people who don't even care about us in return.

And those nosy friends? Yeah, they're just tryin' to get under your skin, right? But you gotta set boundaries, girl! "Why do you ask?" is like the ultimate deflecting phrase. Anyway, I think Dear Abby's got some good advice, but sometimes you just gotta know when to walk away from a toxic situation and focus on yourself. You feel me?

I'm telling you, this is all about control . Estranged's dad thinks he's above the law just because he disowns her in public, but really, he's just proving his loyalty to himself is more important than his family . And now Hopeless Romantic is getting pulled back into a toxic relationship, and Abby's like "oh, just talk it out with your partner"... what about her own healing? That's not being supportive at all . And don't even get me started on this whole 'Dear Old Dad' thing... that's just a way to avoid confrontation altogether . This whole thing is a big ol' game of manipulation, if you ask me .

This family stuff is wild I mean, who needs a reality TV show when you got your own crazy relatives? I'm surprised Estranged didn't just roll her eyes at her dad's "too dumb to be successful" comment and be like, "Dad, that's not even my favorite insult from you" . But for real though, setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care is key. I mean, if your family drama is making you crazy, it's time to take a step back and focus on yourself. That being said, couples counseling with an emotionally abusive partner? Yeah, that's like trying to put lipstick on a pig... but hey, at least it's an opportunity for growth, right?

just think about it, how messed up is it when you try to balance loyalty with your own healing? estranged's sister staying close to their toxic dad is like, super puzzling, but at the same time kinda heartbreaking we need to prioritize our own well-being and not be afraid to set boundaries, even if it means distancing ourselves from toxic relationships

Ugh, I'm still using this old iPhone , my battery life is so whack. Anyway, reading through all these letters from Dear Abby and it's like, wow... family drama can be super complicated, you know? Estranged's situation with her sister and dad is wild, how could their mom just sit there and let that happen?

And Hopeless Romantic in Texas is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like, why would anyone want to go back to an emotionally abusive relationship? It's all about self-care, Abby says, but it's not always easy.

I do love the advice from Nosy Friends, though - setting boundaries with friends who just won't leave you alone is key. "Why do you ask?" That's a solid response right there.

It's crazy how much we can learn from these letters, though. Like, self-awareness and emotional intelligence are so important when it comes to navigating complex relationships. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to update my iPhone

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole toxic ex-lover situation... I mean, how can someone say goodbye and then come crawling back? It's like, you gotta respect your own boundaries, girl! And it's not just about you, it's about those who have been hurt in the process. Self-care is key here, like Abby said. Prioritize that healing time, take care of yourself... don't let someone else's drama dictate your life.

I'm still getting used to people rekindling old flame ... like, what's the point of even having an ex if you're just gonna jump back in? I mean, I've seen it happen before and it never ends well . But hey, I guess that's why we got couples counseling now, right? To work through all the issues that were ignored back when things were "fun" . And don't even get me started on setting boundaries... my aunt is always asking for help with her kids and I'm like, "Uh, no, you're on your own with that one, sis" .

I don't get why people still keep in touch with their parents after they've been abusive to them . I mean, Estranged's dad is like a totally toxic person, always belittling her sister and stuff. And now he's disowning Estranged? No wonder she's all messed up . In my opinion, it's time for people to take care of themselves and not let their parents ruin their lives. It's okay to set boundaries or distance yourself from toxic relationships, you know?

I'm so torn between Estranged and Hopeless Romantic's situations ... It's crazy how they both struggle with toxic family dynamics, but in such different ways . I think the real takeaway here is that prioritizing our own well-being and setting boundaries is key . Whether it's distancing ourselves from an abusive partner or a family member who's being super clingy (like Nosy Friends' friend ), it's all about taking care of ourselves first . And hey, even if it means having some tough conversations or making difficult choices, at least we can say we're doing it for our own growth and healing .

its so relatable when abby says ppl gotta prioritize selfcare u feel like u r in a similar situation with ur fam dynamics lol i think its super important 2 acknowledge the abuse u experienced n dont internalize it but also cant help but wonder wot makes hopeless romantic wanna revisit toxic relationships maybe its time 4 her 2 take abby's advice & focus on her own healing & growth

The whole thing is just so messed up . I mean, this sister's loyalty is literally being used as a tool against her own sister. It's like, can't she see how toxic that is? And the father's behavior... wow. Those words he said about her sister still giving her grief are some heavy stuff.

I think what really bothers me is how it's affecting Estranged. She's already dealing with all this emotional trauma and then gets disowned by her own dad. It's like, where do you even go from there? And the sister who's still close to their dad... I just don't get why she can't see that too.

It's like Abby is right though - sometimes it's best to steer clear of certain topics or people if they're causing more harm than good. But at the same time, it's hard not to feel frustrated when you see someone prioritizing family over themselves.

And then there's Hopeless Romantic in Texas... I feel her pain, you know? Being in an emotionally abusive relationship is no joke. I think Abby's advice to prioritize healing and explore couples counseling might be a good starting point, but it's also super scary to put yourself out there again after being hurt so badly.

Anyway, just my two cents . It's all about finding that balance between loyalty and self-care, and being willing to take risks for your own well-being.

You know, back in my day , I used to have a mom who was super tight-lipped about our family drama. Nowadays, it's like everyone's got their own therapist and advice column . These letters from Dear Abby are actually kinda interesting... I mean, they're all relatable on some level. Estranged's situation is pretty rough tho . It's not easy to know how to navigate toxic relationships or family loyalty issues when you're the one who got hurt.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around Hopeless Romantic's situation though . Rekindling with an ex can be messy, but on the other hand, it's like she wants closure... ugh . And don't even get me started on Nosy Friends asking invasive questions . Like, I get where they're coming from, but "Why do you ask?" is a decent response .

I guess what I'm saying is, these letters are like my own personal time capsule – nostalgic for some reasons, and frustrating for others .

I'm kinda worried about people who are still dealing with toxic exes or abusive family members... it's like they're stuck in this cycle of hurt . I think it's so important for them to prioritize their own well-being and take care of themselves first . It's not always easy to cut ties, but sometimes it's the best decision you can make for your mental health .

I also feel like we're living in a time where people are more open to talking about these issues, which is amazing! Dear Abby's advice columns have been helping so many people navigate these tricky situations . But at the same time, I wish more people could just "Dear Abby" about their problems and get some solid guidance .

What do you guys think? Have you ever dealt with a toxic ex or an abusive family member? How did you handle it?

I'm thinking, what really gets me is how some people struggle to accept when others prioritize their own well-being over toxic relationships. Like, if someone's dad was abusive but they're still close to them... that's not healthy. And with exes, it's like "do you stay for closure or do you run?" Sometimes it's hard to know what's best for ourselves. But honestly, self-care is key. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. It's all about finding that balance and being mindful of your own emotions.

I totally get why Estranged is struggling to accept her sister's loyalty, considering how their dad treated them differently - it's like they got a different script . And poor Hopeless Romantic, being stuck in this toxic loop again? That's some serious emotional whiplash .

What I think is really important here is that Estranged and Hopeless Romantic are both faced with the same reality: their family dynamics can be super hurtful and confusing. But what Abby keeps saying - prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries - it's like, soooo crucial . It's okay to take a step back and focus on your own healing before trying to fix or navigate the rest of your relationships.

And let's not forget about Nosy Friends! I mean, who hasn't been there? Asking invasive questions can be super annoying , but responding with "Why do you ask?" is such a clever way to diffuse tension. It's all about being mindful and intentional in our interactions, right?

Anyway, just my two cents on these letters - they're definitely giving me some food for thought .

I don’t usually comment but I was really surprised to see how relatable the stories were... the part about estranged trying to maintain a relationship with her sister while navigating their abusive father's toxic behavior made me think of my own family drama. It's crazy how these things can affect us as adults, and how hard it is to know what's best for ourselves when our parents' actions are still so raw.

I also feel like the advice given by Abby (or whoever writes those letters) is super practical... I mean, who hasn’t had a situation where they just want to ignore someone but know that ignoring them might make things worse? The whole "steering clear of 'Dear Old Dad' for now" thing resonated with me, and the importance of prioritizing self-care really hit home. It's easy to forget that we can't control everyone else’s behavior, but we can control how we respond to it

[Image: A meme of a person trying to escape a snake (representing toxic relationships) with a red X marked through it]

Umm yaaas girl!!! Self-care is not selfish! [GIF: A woman taking a long, relaxing bath with bubbles and a cup of tea]

[Image: A split-screen meme showing two people on opposite sides of the screen, one with a " toxic ex-lover" caption and the other with a " new love" caption]

Don't worry, you got this! Set those boundaries like a boss [GIF: A person drawing a big, bold line around themselves]

[Image: A cartoon character with a "nosy parker" hat on, looking surprised when someone tells them to stop asking questions]

Why do people even ask that many questions?!