Dear Abby: Date change of funeral leads to death of friendship

Friendship Falls Apart Over Dog-Sitting Debt

In a surprising turn of events, a friendship came to an abrupt end after one woman's request for dog-sitting services was met with refusal from her long-time acquaintance. The rift began when Mylene, who had been consistently helped by the woman in various ways, including dog-sitting and financial assistance, asked the woman to keep her dog while she traveled for a funeral.

However, when the dog-sitting arrangement changed due to a delay in the funeral, Mylene suddenly found herself unable to accommodate the request. The woman, who had provided numerous favors for Mylene over the years, was left feeling disappointed and frustrated by Mylene's sudden change of heart.

Despite efforts to apologize and make amends, the two women have failed to reconcile their differences. Instead, Mylene has continued to communicate with the woman through emojis, which she considers a more suitable way to respond than engaging in a direct conversation.

Abby, who weighed in on the situation, advised that Mylene's behavior is an example of how favors can become transactional when expectations are not managed properly. "When we do favors for others," Abby wrote, "we shouldn't do them with the expectation that we will be paid back." The advice suggests that Mylene should have simply thanked her friend and declined the request instead of sending a dismissive message.

The incident serves as a reminder to reevaluate our relationships and ensure that boundaries are clearly communicated. While it may be tempting to offer favors without expecting anything in return, doing so can lead to resentment and hurt feelings down the line.

In another story, Exhausted Grandparents in Ohio shared their concern about their daughter's 10-year-old granddaughter who seems to exhibit consistently bad behavior. The grandparents struggle to maintain a positive relationship with their daughter due to the daughter's child's difficult nature. Abby advised that consulting a child psychologist would be a wise step for the family to take, suggesting that further intervention is needed to address the girl's troubled behavior.

As these two stories highlight, the importance of communication and boundary-setting in maintaining healthy relationships cannot be overstated.

I don't get why people do this anymore . Like, back in my day, we used to just have a chat about it or make a phone call if things got tough. Now it's all about emojis and avoiding the conversation . I mean, what happened to being able to talk through your issues like adults? And another thing, why do people always assume that favors are freebies? Like, no one owes you anything just because you've been helping someone out in the past. It's not about doing something nice for someone else, it's about being a good friend or family member.

And don't even get me started on how hard it is to maintain relationships nowadays . I remember when we could have a family dinner without there being drama . Now, it seems like every little thing can cause tension. Like, what's the deal with all these families where everyone's just so exhausted all the time? Did people used to be more energetic or something?

Ugh, can't believe how entitled Mylene sounds . If she knew the woman was gonna need the dog-sitting spot, she should've just said no or offered an alternative instead of playing hard to get. It's like, basic human decency, right? And using emojis as a way to "not want to talk" to someone is just rude . I mean, if you're gonna hurt someone's feelings, own up to it and have the conversation or apologize properly. The woman was clearly taken aback by Mylene's sudden change of heart and now they're done? That's not how friendships work .

I feel like this situation is super relatable . Did you know that 71% of friendships end due to financial disagreements? Anyway, I think Mylene's behavior was pretty passive-aggressive . She basically said "no" without even having a conversation about it . And now they're communicating through emojis, which is just awkward .

On the other hand, 63% of people say that apologizing and making amends are key to resolving conflicts . Maybe Mylene should've just said thanks but no thanks instead of sending a dismissive message?

And let's talk about the grandparents' situation . Did you know that 1 in 5 children exhibit behavioral problems? It's like, we get it, kids can be tough to deal with sometimes . But consulting a child psychologist can really help address those issues .

By the way, have you heard about the benefits of setting boundaries in relationships? Studies show that people who set clear limits tend to have healthier relationships and lower stress levels . Just something to think about

I feel bad for the woman who got burned by her friend's flip-flopping on dog-sitting. Like, you'd think they were closer than that . And can we talk about how extra it is to communicate through emojis? It just shows she wasn't willing to have a real convo and clear up the mess. Maybe if she'd just said no from the start or even apologized for changing her mind, things could've gone differently .

I'm actually kinda surprised that Abby pointed out how this situation became transactional . I mean, it's not like Mylene didn't get some value out of their friendship – dog-sitting is a big ask! But yeah, it would've been better for her to just be honest from the start and not send that dismissive message .

And omg, those grandparents are having it . It's so hard when you want to support your family but can't deal with their drama . Consulting a child psychologist is def the way to go – gotta get some professional help for that little one

ugh this dog-sitting drama is so relatable i mean i've had friends who just stop responding or getting back to me after a favor like what even is that? and i totally get why the other girl felt frustrated but at the same time mylene's emoji responses are kinda sass-tastic lol anyway it just goes to show that we gotta set boundaries and not expect favors for favors gotta prioritize self-care and respect in our relationships

u gotta wonder why ppl do favors without expecting nuthin back... like Mylene thought she cud just keep her dog 4 a funeral & not have 2 pay it? Newsflash: if u r askin someone 2 do u a solid, they expect somethin in return! Don't be all happy 4 helpin out ppl till u get what u want... that's just rude

so weird how favors can turn into expectations, right? like my friend asked me to lend her some cash a while back but I didn't wanna feel obligated to help her out every time she needs something... guess that's kinda what happened here with Mylene and her dog-sitting debt . shouldn't it be just a simple "no thanks, take care of your own pet" instead of a whole vibe shift?

I feel so bad for the woman who was taken advantage of by her friend... I mean, it's like she thought dog-sitting was a free service or something . It's all about reciprocity, you know? If you're gonna ask someone to help you out, that's one thing, but if you start expecting them to do stuff for you all the time without saying thank you... it's just not cool.

And honestly, Mylene's response is kinda weird too... using emojis to respond to a situation like this? It's not really an apology, it's just a dismissive message . I get that she might be trying to avoid hurt feelings, but it's not gonna cut it in the end.

As for the grandparents in Ohio, I feel their pain... no one wants to deal with a difficult kid, especially when they're dealing with their own adult problems too . But at the same time, it's good that Abby is advocating for them to get some professional help. That's what we need more of: people looking out for each other and wanting to see us all do well .

Anyway, just a reminder to us all: communication is key in relationships... if you're gonna ask for help or make a request, be prepared to have the conversation about it too .

omg this is so sad i feel like mylene was just taking advantage of her friend from years ago and now she's paying the price i mean if you're gonna ask a favor, just say no or thank them and move on instead of sending some dismissive emoji that's just gonna hurt their feelings

and can we talk about how hard it is to set boundaries with people who have been friends for years? it seems like an easy fix but i know how hard it is to have those conversations mylene should've just said no from the start instead of trying to wriggle out of it

I think it's crazy how one bad debt can totally ruin a friendship . Like, Mylene should've just been upfront with her friend from the start instead of playing games . And now they're stuck in this emoji exchange drama . It's like, communication is key, you know? If we wanna build strong relationships, we gotta be honest and clear about our expectations . Can't just keep doing favors for others without expecting something in return . And honestly, I feel bad for the friend who got burned . It's a good reminder to reevaluate our friendships and set those boundaries .

I was just thinking about dogs and how they can become like little family members when you have them. Like, my neighbor has this crazy-beautiful golden retriever that's always by her side... I wonder if she has any dog-sitting tips for those traveling with their pets? Anyway, back to the friendship thing - it sounds like Mylene was just really caught up in being helpful and didn't think about how her friend might feel.