For many women, having children is a source of immense joy and fulfillment. However, for some, the prospect of expanding their family can be overwhelming due to anxiety about the impact on the environment. I want to share my story – one that may resonate with those who are struggling to come to terms with their decision.
As I sat down to reflect on my journey, it became clear that climate anxiety played a significant role in my decision to have an abortion after having two children. The weight of knowing that my children would grow up in a world vastly different from the one I knew – and potentially facing unprecedented challenges due to climate change – was crushing at times.
At first, I felt a mix of emotions: relief, devastation, guilt, and shame. The pressure to be a 'good mother' and 'make the right decision' for my family was immense. My husband was supportive throughout, but even his understanding couldn't alleviate the turmoil within me.
I've learned that it's essential to acknowledge and accept our feelings rather than suppressing them. It took time, patience, and support from loved ones – including my therapist – to begin processing my emotions.
One of the most significant insights I gained was recognizing that my anxiety wasn't just about having another child but also about not wanting to pass on a potentially uncertain future to my existing children. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my desire for a third child wasn't driven by an inherent need for family expansion but rather by a deep-seated fear of what's to come.
Dr. Jo Stubley, my consultant medical psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, helped me understand that my decision was as much about self-preservation as it was about the well-being of my children. She emphasized the importance of taking time to process my emotions and work through the complex web of feelings surrounding this experience.
As I continue on this journey, I've come to accept that acceptance doesn't mean ignoring or dismissing my feelings but rather learning to navigate them in a way that feels authentic and healthy for me. It's about acknowledging the pain and the guilt while also recognizing that I made a choice based on what felt right at the time – even if it wasn't easy.
To those who may be struggling with similar anxieties, I want to assure you that you're not alone. Your feelings are valid, and your experiences are worth exploring. It's essential to seek support from loved ones, therapists, or support groups where you can share your story and work through the complexities of your emotions.
In a world where climate change is no longer just an 'environmental issue' but a pressing human rights concern, it's time for us to confront our own fears and anxieties head-on. By doing so, we can start to break down the barriers that often hold us back from making decisions that align with our values and goals.
As I look to the future, I know that it won't be easy, but I'm determined to find a way to live with my decision while still honoring the life I've chosen. It's not about erasing the pain or guilt; it's about learning to navigate them in a way that allows me to grow and evolve as a person – one step at a time.
As I sat down to reflect on my journey, it became clear that climate anxiety played a significant role in my decision to have an abortion after having two children. The weight of knowing that my children would grow up in a world vastly different from the one I knew – and potentially facing unprecedented challenges due to climate change – was crushing at times.
At first, I felt a mix of emotions: relief, devastation, guilt, and shame. The pressure to be a 'good mother' and 'make the right decision' for my family was immense. My husband was supportive throughout, but even his understanding couldn't alleviate the turmoil within me.
I've learned that it's essential to acknowledge and accept our feelings rather than suppressing them. It took time, patience, and support from loved ones – including my therapist – to begin processing my emotions.
One of the most significant insights I gained was recognizing that my anxiety wasn't just about having another child but also about not wanting to pass on a potentially uncertain future to my existing children. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my desire for a third child wasn't driven by an inherent need for family expansion but rather by a deep-seated fear of what's to come.
Dr. Jo Stubley, my consultant medical psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, helped me understand that my decision was as much about self-preservation as it was about the well-being of my children. She emphasized the importance of taking time to process my emotions and work through the complex web of feelings surrounding this experience.
As I continue on this journey, I've come to accept that acceptance doesn't mean ignoring or dismissing my feelings but rather learning to navigate them in a way that feels authentic and healthy for me. It's about acknowledging the pain and the guilt while also recognizing that I made a choice based on what felt right at the time – even if it wasn't easy.
To those who may be struggling with similar anxieties, I want to assure you that you're not alone. Your feelings are valid, and your experiences are worth exploring. It's essential to seek support from loved ones, therapists, or support groups where you can share your story and work through the complexities of your emotions.
In a world where climate change is no longer just an 'environmental issue' but a pressing human rights concern, it's time for us to confront our own fears and anxieties head-on. By doing so, we can start to break down the barriers that often hold us back from making decisions that align with our values and goals.
As I look to the future, I know that it won't be easy, but I'm determined to find a way to live with my decision while still honoring the life I've chosen. It's not about erasing the pain or guilt; it's about learning to navigate them in a way that allows me to grow and evolve as a person – one step at a time.
[gif of a woman sitting on a cliff with a big question mark above her head]
[pic of a woman holding two children, looking worried]
[Boomerang animation of a globe spinning out of control]
[gif of a woman shaking off guilt with a big smile]
[pic of a plant growing in the cracks of the pavement]
[Boomerang animation of a family having an animated conversation about climate change]
I totally get why people are feeling anxious about having more kids, especially with climate change being such a big deal right now. It's like, do we really want to burden our children with all this uncertainty? 
For me, it was just knowing that my little ones would be facing a potentially harsher future than I did that made it hard to decide. And yeah, it's not just about the environmental impact – it's also about not wanting to pass on that stress to them. 
anyway i guess its good that shes speaking out about her feelings and all but lets be real, not many ppl have the means to just take a break from having kids cuz of climate change... its not like she has the luxury of 'processing her emotions' or whatever 
. I mean, who wouldn't want to protect their kids from an uncertain future? 
It's like, what if they're gonna grow up in a world where the polar ice caps are basically gone 
or extreme weather events are the norm 
?
. I wouldn't want to be that mom who's always stressing about whether she's doing enough for her kids' future 
.
. It's so true that talking it out with someone who cares can really help process those complex emotions 
.
. It's not about suppressing them or denying they exist; it's about working through them in a way that feels authentic and healthy for you 
. Like, you didn't want to pass on this uncertainty to your existing kids, and that's totally valid 
. It's not selfish; it's just... smart 
?
And then I started thinking... what if people had kids before there was all this climate change drama? 
Would they have been more worried about the planet too? 
Like, would it be a thing back in their day? 
