Dear Abby: Spouse of serial cheater is ready to even the score

A Man Torn Between Love and Lust After 40 Years of Marriage, He's Found Himself in a Desperate Situation.

Fifty years into their marriage, a man has realized his wife's infidelity was not as insurmountable as he had made it out to be. Their children have grown and moved on with their lives; now the only issue left is the lack of intimacy between them. After decades of silence, his wife's decreased libido has sparked something within him - a longing for human connection that transcends sex.

He seeks advice from Abby, hoping her guidance will help him navigate this uncharted territory. Should he rekindle an old friendship with a woman who shares similar desires? Or should he remain loyal to his ailing wife and pursue something more?

Abby advises the man to have a candid conversation with his wife about his needs. While acknowledging that sex can still be an option for some postmenopausal women, she suggests that his wife's reluctance would reveal her true feelings towards intimacy and their marriage.

In other news, Abby addresses the struggles of a woman in Washington who finds herself craving dessert three times a week - on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. To curb this cravings, a friend of Abby's recommends carrying a small bag of ginger snaps with you to restaurants, only consuming half when hunger strikes. Alternatively, try substituting a piece of fresh fruit for the cookie.

With her sharp wit and wisdom, Abby provides sage advice on love, relationships, and everyday struggles - all delivered in her trademark engaging style.

Wow this is so relatable I've been there too where you're married but still feel like something's missing and it's not just about the physical intimacy but also about emotional connection. The fact that he's exploring other options doesn't necessarily mean he's being disloyal, it means he's human and needs fulfillment too! Interesting

I feel kinda bad for this guy who's been stuck in marriage limbo for decades ... it's like, he thought he was just being a good husband by ignoring the elephant in the room, but now that his wife has opened up about her feelings, he's all like "wait, I'm still human too"? Meanwhile, Abby's advice is on point as always - having an open conversation with his wife would be the best way to get real about what they both want.

And omg, who hasn't had those cravings where you're like "I need dessert stat!"? I love that she recommended carrying some healthy snacks to curb the cravings. Ginger snaps aren't my fave, but hey, it's all about finding balance, right?

omg this is so weird I mean I get it people grow apart but after 40 years? that's crazy...I feel bad for his wife though she sounds super unhappy and maybe a little lonely what if he just talks to her about how he's feeling instead of getting all wishy washy on the side? or is it better to keep some things private in marriage? my friend has been married like 10 years and they're always fighting about sex...I don't know what to do maybe Abby has a point, but what if his wife just isn't that into intimacy anymore?

Ugh, 40 years of marriage and he's still unsure if his wife is cheating or just needs some sex ? Like, can't we just talk about this stuff without making it into some dramatic love triangle? He should have a real convo with her instead of looking for an easy fix online . And what's with all these sugary snacks on Abby's show? Carrying ginger snaps to restaurants isn't going to cut it, girl . Tell people to just eat healthier or something!

I feel bad for this 50-year-old bloke who's found himself at a bit of a crossroads. Fifty years into marriage, you'd think the spark would've fizzled out by now , but instead, he's got a second wind and is wondering if he can rekindle something with someone else . At the same time, his wife's lost her libido, which makes things even more complicated.

I reckon Abby's advice to have an open chat with his wife about what he needs is spot on . Maybe she's not as opposed to intimacy as he thought. But at the same time, you can't blame him for feeling drawn to someone else who shares similar desires . I guess it just goes to show that love and desire aren't always easy to untangle .

It's funny how life works out like this – one minute you're stuck in a rut, the next you're wondering what could've been . Anyway, hope he finds some closure or a new path forward .

I feel sorry for this dude who's been married for 50 years... He's got a decent chance of finding someone new if he does end things with his wife. Stats show that the average age of divorce in the US is around 40, and 60% of people remarry within 5 years of their split. On the other hand, his wife might be dealing with some serious health issues - postmenopausal women can experience a decline in libido due to hormonal changes. Maybe it's time for her to see a doc?

Meanwhile, this woman who's got a sweet tooth every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday... 3 times a week is a lot! The ginger snap hack sounds like a decent solution - our brains can be tricked into thinking we're full, but when the hunger pangs hit, we still wanna indulge. Did you know that cravings are often linked to nutrient deficiencies? Maybe she's not craving cookies for dessert, but for something more essential?

This is just so complicated... I feel like he's stuck between being a good husband to his wife who needs him now more than ever, but also wanting something real with someone else. It's not fair that their kids have moved on and they're left with this emptiness in their marriage. My instinct would be to tell him to talk it out with his wife first, see how she really feels about intimacy, before pursuing anything else. But at the same time, I get why he'd want to rekindle something... love and lust aren't mutually exclusive, right?

omg u can tell this dude is still reeling from his wife's infidelity like 40 yrs into their marriage he finally opens up about the lack of intimacy... meanwhile i'm over here thinking why not just be honest with ur partner in the first place? but idk maybe this guy needs a lil encouragement to have that convo w/ his wife. what do u guys think? should he try 2 reconnect w/ an old friend or just ride it out w/ his current wife?

and omg abby's advice on curb those dessert cravings is LIFE.CHANGING carrying ginger snaps? genius! or just get urself a lil fruit snack. i swear abby's the real MVP

I feel bad for this guy who's been married for 50 years... I mean, 40 years to be exact . It's like he's been stuck in a rut and didn't realize it was there until now. His wife's decreased libido isn't something to be ashamed of, you know? It's just life, right? And the fact that she's still got feelings for him is pretty amazing. I'm not sure what I'd do in his shoes, but I think Abby's advice makes sense - have a real talk with his wife and see where it goes.

As for this woman who's craving dessert three times a week, umm... carry ginger snaps? What's next? Carry a pillow to bed so you can snack in peace? Just kidding, sort of. But seriously, substituting fruit for cookies is a great idea - who doesn't love a good apple or banana with their dessert?

Sounds like this guy's been living in his own personal fantasy world for 40 years . I mean, come on, it takes a whole marriage to realize your wife isn't the only one who needs human connection? And now he's gonna rekindle some old "friendship" with another woman just because... reasons? Not sure what's more cringeworthy, his desperation or Abby's sugary sweet advice.

And honestly, who does this guy think is gonna be able to talk to their wife about their needs after 50 years of silence? It's like trying to get a cat to do tricks for treats . Meanwhile, I'm over here thinking the real struggle is not the lack of intimacy, but the dude's own midlife crisis .

I gotta disagree with this whole "talking to your wife about it" thing . What if she just wants some space or has no desire for sex anymore? Don't be like that, man! He's 50+ years into their marriage and suddenly becomes an intimacy expert? Abby's advice is all well and good, but what if his wife just needs him to respect her boundaries for once? Maybe she does want company, but not necessarily a romantic one . And another thing, carrying ginger snaps around to distract from cravings isn't gonna solve anything! What's wrong with just enjoying that cookie every now and then?

It's crazy how we think our partner is the only one who can fulfill us... but what about when they've lost their spark too? I feel for this guy, it's not easy to navigate, especially after 40 years together. Maybe he shouldn't be looking at other women, maybe he should be having an honest convo with his wife and figure out if this is something that can be rekindled or not. It's all about communication and finding a new normal together

I gotta say, this is getting old. A 50-yr marriage where one partner still has it up to their eyeballs but the other's libido is shot? It's like, don't they communicate?! This couple's been coasting on autopilot for decades and now they're both surprised by how boring it is? I mean, what's next? A 70-yr old couple deciding to spice things up with a 'new friend' because their wife can't get it done? It just feels like an excuse to not have the conversation that needs to be had. And Abby's advice is just 'talk to your wife'? How about some real solutions?

omg can u believe his wife has been hiding it from him 40 yrs what's next? he's like "girl i need u" and she's all "um no sex pls" lol anyway gotta feel for the dude, maybe they can rekindle the spark with a friend 4 a sec? or maybe just have an honest convo about it, idk

I just don't get why they have to make it so complicated . Like, if someone's wife is not feeling it anymore, isn't it better to just accept it instead of bringing up old feelings or trying to rekindle something that's not there? It feels like they're making a big deal out of nothing . And what's with the ginger snap solution for dessert cravings tho? Who carries around snacks to restaurants?!

I gotta say, this reminds me of the whole 'sex after 40' debate . I mean, what's considered a "normal" libido for women at that age? Shouldn't we be having a conversation about what intimacy looks like for people in their golden years? Is it even possible to rekindle passion when life circumstances have changed so drastically?

And what about the societal pressure on marriage partners to, you know, stay together no matter what? Do we prioritize personal fulfillment or is it all about maintaining a facade of happiness? I think we need to talk about what's really going on behind closed doors (or in this case, in the bedroom) . We can't just sweep these issues under the rug and expect everything to work out magically.

I'm low-key weirded out by this one. A 50-year-old man trying to figure out if he can still have a connection with someone else while being married... it's like, dude, your wife cheated on you for 40 years and now she's just "not feeling it"? It's not like they were even intimate anymore? I get that intimacy is important, but the fact that he's considering an old friend who shares his desires makes me wonder if he's just trying to fill a void. Still, maybe he should talk to his wife about what's going on... she might surprise him

I feel bad for this guy, 40 yrs of marriage is a long time, he's already lost his spark, but at the same time, it's good that he's acknowledging his feelings . I think Abby's advice to have an open conversation with his wife makes sense, but also gotta be realistic, they've built a life together, it might not be easy for her to adjust to this new dynamic .

On a lighter note, a bag of ginger snaps to curb dessert cravings? That's actually kinda genius, who knew snacks could be the answer to our emotional struggles . I'd rather try that than just cut out my favorite treats completely, life's too short for that!

This situation is quite poignant, isn't it? The man's realization that his wife's infidelity wasn't as insurmountable as he thought, and now the real issue is their lack of intimacy. It's almost like they're navigating uncharted emotional terrain . I think Abby's advice to have a candid conversation with his wife about his needs is spot on. It's essential for him to understand her feelings towards intimacy and their marriage. Maybe this is an opportunity for them to reconnect on a deeper level, one that transcends sex .

I'm intrigued by the second story, though - a woman struggling with dessert cravings three times a week! Who hasn't been there, right? The suggestions from Abby's friend are quite clever, actually. Carrying ginger snaps or substituting fruit for cookies could be effective ways to curb those cravings . It just goes to show that even in our daily struggles, there are often simple solutions hiding in plain sight .